Our sexuality changes as our bodies, lives, energy and ages change. Children can bring changes in sexual connection…from babies through school age children through teenagers.  In long term relationships, intimacy and sexual connection can ebb and flow is response to life’s and our bodies’ changes (hormones).  Here are some questions for you to choose to discuss – feel free to choose the questions based on the season of connection you two are in. More than anything, talk about and acknowledge where you are at. The best thing a couple can do for their sex life is talk about it. From the talk comes clarity and more often, elevated connection.

Spicy Questions: (have fun with these…be playful)

1. What about my personality is sexy to you?
2. What five things work well for you as an aphrodisiac?
3. What is the ideal way for me to start a sexual interlude?
4. What do you think *I* like most in regards to our lovemaking?
5. How important is ‘hot sex’ to you in our relationship?
6. What are your favorite love activities?
7. What fantasy would you like to act out with me?
8. What do you want to “try” this year in our love sessions?
9. Do we have sex frequent enough for you?
10. What is your favorite day of the week to make love?
11. Favorite time of day?
12. Where would you like to make love this year?
13. What is your favorite love toy?

Questions for Lovers with Changes

1. How can we keep our connection as our bodies change through the years?
2. What would help us most right now in our sexual connection?
3. What is your biggest fear around our love life?
4. What do you need from me during lovemaking?
5. What do we need to adapt in our sexual play to adjust for our changing needs?
6. What if we allowed sex to be more fun, light, joyful and easy this year? What would that take?

Dave and Helene have gone through a million changes in their 50 winters of loving. Their superpower? Talking about what is happening and then adjusting expectations. Read more about The Van Manens.